Sunday, September 20, 2020

Ethical steps one should take before canceling someone out of their life via social media. How canceling can adversely affect an Empath.

This article was written after reading a LinkedIn Article written by Shay Rowbottom. Removing someone from our internet existence should be something we take seriously if we want to be an ethical person. Here is a list of ideas to consider before canceling someone out of one's life. If a person genuinely feels afraid and that is why they are canceling someone, then these rules may not apply to them.

Before canceling someone consider the following...
  • If one is in the middle of a heated discussion, either private or online, and is about to cancel the other person, first ask a question and wait for the answer before deciding to cancel them. 
I personally have been on the receiving end of discussions where the other person is either completely focused on themselves, refuses to acknowledge something they did, or has misunderstood something I wrote and is getting angrier with each comment they make. At this point, the connection has already been canceled, they just want to make sure they get the last word in before actually canceling.

If one is wants to be ethical before canceling someone, just ask them a question. This gives the canceler a chance to listen before canceling. Most cancels revolve around someone who has gotten so upset all they plan on doing is being angry, accusing, not listening, and then canceling. But, is this something an ethical person would do? An ethical person, no matter how angry they are, would ask a question as a way to switch from being the aggressor to being the listener. This technique only works if a person cares about being an ethical person before canceling someone.
  • Limit how many times you swipe past another human being's picture as a form of rejection. The Cancel Culture may have started with the social media dating sites that allowed people to swipe past dozens of images of people they were not interested in within literally one minute.
Imagine for a moment that you have a flat screen in front of you with a picture of a prospective dating partner. Now imagine that same person was also seated next to you as you swipe their image into oblivion. How would you feel if someone swiped you away while you sat next them, and watched? 

Of course, life is short and many of us don't want to wait, we want to want what we want, when we want it. Being ethical many times involves being patient. Going back 40 or 50 or 75 or 100 years ago Love was based on first contact and a fear that there might not be a second meeting. The yearning and pining that was created could lead to love baking into one's soul and  flourishing before these two souls met for a second or third time! Love in 2020 may be more based on lists we have of what we want and when we want the list satisfied. 

Neither scenario up above is necessarily ideal when it comes to choosing our friends and dating partners, and that becomes the irony. It is as if the love / friendship criteria pendulum has swung from one extreme 40 to 100 years ago to the opposite extreme in 2020.
  • Do you use the laugh emoji to ridicule other points of view on Facebook? Why? Using the laugh emoji for sincere comments is cancel culture on full display. Ironically, it may be that all the people who are on smart phones just get tired of texting and would rather just use the laugh emoji as a way of saying I disagree with you AND you are not worthy of a wordy reply. How often have you flipped the bird at someone in a public place right in their face? Probably not that often, if  at all. The laughing emoji is the Cancel Culture's way of flipping the bird, and it may not even be a big deal to the canceler because the person they are flipping off is not there in the same room with them. The depiction of people as Snowflakes by the older generation is probably equivalent to someone nowadays using the laughing emoji in place of an actual word laced response to respond to the older generation. 
  • Has texting adversely affected our brains in the age of Cancel Culture?  When I write on an actual desktop, I am reciting each word as I type. I am usually able to run the words together so I am sounding out the actual sentence. Texting requires a focus on each character instead of the word. Suddenly the texter is in danger of thinking in a monotone, roboticized method as they sound out each letter they are typing. Slowing down the brain's thought process may actually spin down the cognitive emotion we are using as we text our thought's and feelings! Sounding out each letter when texting can suddenly feel like we are talking to ourselves rather than talking to someone else. 
However, some texters are almost as fast as those who use an actual keyboard. But isn't that like riding a 10 speed bicycle in a lower gear so we end up spinning the pedals at such a high rate we are more focused on how fast we are spinning the pedals than what it is we were suppose to be doing?

So besides trying to be more ethical when it comes to canceling, the person who has been canceled needs to self assess why and how they feel the way they feel upon being canceled.

The Mathematical reality is we can only have so many close associates, friends, relatives, or significant others who we can interact with on a daily or weekly basis. And for some, just being able to juggle those closer connections is really what matters, the rest is like being at a carnival shooting gallery where a person just tries to shoot as many of the passing objects as they can, and then it's on to the next "game". 

If one is canceled by another person maybe it is best to analyze if they were canceled by someone they haven't actually met or had not planned on meeting. A person who has been canceled should reassess if they were placing too much importance on staying connected to someone they may never meet and they should also assess why they care so much about being canceled. 

Canceling probably hurts empaths the most. The more an Empath learns about someone, the more information they have acquired in the event the Empath discovers a way they can help the other person and that person's goals. Suddenly the Empath is canceled and they realize they can no longer ever help the person who canceled them should the Empath ever learn something that would have helped the other person. To an Empath, this can really sting. Empaths can more easily store other people's adventures and when they are suddenly closed off from that person's world, it can hurt.

Alessandro's Video and Writing Credits include; 
2001 Los Angeles Emmy,
over 25 IMDB credits for work done in his studio, 
Ranked top 25 out of 20,000 Lifetime Tongal Ideationists. 
Created Video Advocating making Home Businesses Legal in Los Angeles.
1985 Academy of Television Arts and Sciences Internship Scholarship Winner.

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